Role Playing With My Head

ROLE PLAYING WITH MY HEAD
Current mood:So grateful for whom He places
Category: Romance and Relationships
There seems to be some question in so called Christian circles as to the "role" of the Man/Husband in the home. I suppose rightly so since so many homes are broken and good examples of the marriage covenant are difficult to find.

I do a great deal of writing on a Christian Singles forum and am amazed at the attitude of some women and what they will and will not "allow" from a man. I wonder why they are so desperately looking for one.

I am also amazed at how women have thrown men in some little box in their mind and cannot understand that confining him does not bring the best out in him.....even married women seem to do this with little hesitation. I have come to the place where I despise the phrase;

"Well you know how men are!"

I find that truthfully men are exactly what we women have forced them to be. Not that he is not also responsibile for this mess.....but this she does out of her own fragmented soul...and self presevation, self protection.

Not discounting that many women have been wounded by men, trust violated......but the case is also true in men. I love to heal broken women, but I weep sometimes when I meet a great man who has been broken by a woman. He may hide it better then she does, but it's still obvious, at least to me.

I have been divorced for two years. In this two years I have met a number of men who are amazing MOG..(men of God) but I prefer calling them GodMan! Not one of these men who have shown an interest in me (romantic or friendship, or ministry wise) have wanted to railroad me into some silly little box and tell me I cannot "be." But they have strongly encouraged me to press on into all that I am in HIM. Many of them have even taken opportunity to paint a picture with words of what they see in me that is beyond who and what I am right now. Yes, and some have even walked away realizing they are not ready or equipped to walk with me, we remain good friends.

Oh sure, a few have proven they simply valued themselves and their life more then mine, and desire me to come join them in marriage and be their partner, supporting their ministry and call, with out much thought to mine.

But how thankful I am for the many others who have recognized my call and are willing to stand beside me. I prefer team ministry, not solo....not only with a marriage partner, but in ministry in every realm.
I am a team player.

I have been involved in some pretty heated discussion on a certain forum and have made some "Christian" enemies it seems. Mostly over the subject found in Ephesians 5......
Eph 5:23
For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church;....and, Eph 5:26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,

It seems there is a devil loose (I call him jezzy) and it does not want the husband to have his place given to him by/through/in Christ.

Why are women so fearful of the the word "rule?" I will not water down this word for a woman's comfort......but I have come to some understanding why women demand the man's position (as though she is equipped for it.) I understand her frustration and fear...but,

Greater still is the sweet revelation of Ephesians 5 and its fruit in our lives and in the blessed union of Husband and Wife.
'Following is one of my forum posts;

.FREE TO LOVE .
Eph 5:25-33






25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. NKJV




I believe her question was…. how does the husband sanctify the wife through the washing of the water of the word?

In verse 32 we find that the Apostle states that this is a great mystery ….this correlation of Christ and the church…but “never the less let each husband love his own wife as Christ loves…..obviously the work of sanctification here is through love.

If it is a mystery to the writer then how much more to we whom the Holy Spirit did not give this revelation? We must then seek the Lord and search His word for the answer through the rehema word….Life producing revelation.

As I was reading this passage again the answer seemed to be within the passage. (I love how the Lord hides it away and then suddenly begins to open it when you least expect it. “How does the husband sanctify and cleans His wife with the washing of the water of the word?”….could it clearly be stated in verse 29?

29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.....

I offer this passage from the Message Bible also…it clearly speaks....

Eph 5:22-33
22 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. 23 The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. 24 So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
25 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church — a love marked by giving, not getting. 26 Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, 27 dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. 28 And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor — since they're already "one" in marriage.

29 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, 30 since we are part of his body. 31 And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." 32 This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. 33 And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.

It is imperative that we recognize that no where in this passage is the husband admonished to “save” (as speaking of her salvation) his wife but to sanctify and cleanse. (Again a mystery.)

Further to say that the husband cannot sanctify the wife is to call God and His word a lie…..and then twice …. As according to 1 Cor 7:13 there is another occasion of sanctification

1 Cor 7:13-14
13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. NKJV

Both in Ephesians and in 1 Cor the word is exactly the same….as it is also in 1Thess. 5

1 Thess 5:23
23 Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. NKJV

If I choose to be unbelieving that the husband can sanctify according to Eph 5, then I must also disbelieve that the believing spouse can sanctify the unbelieving one. If this be the case then the unbelieving wife who desperately needs this promise is left straining for a glimmer of hope that will change her desperate situation.

I am privileged to believe whatever portion of truth I choose from His Word. In fact isn’t unbelief the big battle after all? Nothing is received from Him but by faith. Belief ~ being convinced fully persuaded, faith~belief in action!

Heb 11:6
6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. NKJV

Heb 11:1-2
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. NKJV

It is absurd to say that we can do what only Jesus can do….although, (greater works then these shall ye do,) we may try to explain, water down those greater works but let’s face it we haven’t really seen them YET!

And He said through the Apostle John:....
1 John 4:12-19
12 No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. 13 By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.

17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 19 We love Him because He first loved us. NKJV

Possibly our problem and the reason so many single people stay single and marrieds are unfulfilled is not about leadership, rule, headship, anointing, grace, gifting, teacher, position, authority...... as much as it is a lack of LOVE. Where love abounds fear is conquered.

Love is what releases the work of sanctification. It’s not what I demand must be so in the role of my mate, but how far and deep into “love” with my mate I am willing to walk and let him walk with me.

The same as with my Savior…the more I understand and receive His love the more He cleanses me and the deeper my healing. The more I understand and receive my husbands love…..the greater healing flows to/through me. The absence of love….. the presence of fear..... limits God, limits man, limits me!

1 Peter 4:8
8 And above all things have fervent love for one another, for "love will cover a multitude of sins. NKJV

I choose to set MEN free!

We cannot comprehend such grace given in Eph 5 or 1 Cor 7 possibly because fear dominates us more then we knew, and we have not experienced or comprehended this level of love especially between husband and wife, an mostly likely not in our marriages.

What love the Father has bestowed upon us!